The scary decision

Ever since I can remember I have wanted a family. I’ve always been maternal – I’d be the one hogging the babies at the family summer BBQ.  Husband and I decided to enjoy our first year of marriage together as a twosome but having celebrated that in March, we now want to start a family.

You hear about people starting families all the time. Jeez, my Facebook feed is always flooded with baby announcements and scan pictures and each time I think ‘aw that must be so exciting for them!’. But I never really considered the seriousness of the decision behind that. Starting a family means having a baby inside my body, growing it, caring for it and then raising it. A little human! That is a terrifying! And as soon as there is the possibility of you being pregnant, that reality is magnified. Am I capable? Will I do it right? Am I going to be a good Mum? Questions of doubt start to whizz through your mind as you wonder whether you are enough of an adult to raise a child.

But this detracts from the whole excitement of starting a family in the first place. I want it to be a fun and enjoyable experience that makes me ‘glow’ (perhaps a little ambitious) and doesn’t give me early wrinkles so I’m determined not to let these thoughts get the better of me.

Sod off scrupling. I’m a determined Mum-to-be!


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