To tell or not to tell?

So Husband and I agreed that we wouldn’t tell anyone we were trying for a baby to avoid the pressure and constant questioning that would inevitably roll in as a consequence. And we didn’t at first.

But over the few months we have been trying, it just accidentally-on-purpose happened one way or another. Now I’m starting to question whether that was the right thing to do.

I told one of my closest friends before we were even trying as we were going through a bit of a timing nightmare and I needed someone to talk to. So she knows. No big deal.

Then a work friend got pregnant and it came up in conversation. SoΒ she knows. Okay, two people, that’s not too bad. Then another work friend confided in me her baby plans so I reciprocated. That makes the count 3. Then my ‘work Mum’ just guessed. 4. I wasn’t too bothered at this point though because they all helped me through my mini-meltdown last month so I am eternally grateful.

The number doesn’t stop there though. Husband recently went on holiday and his mates asked him. So he told them. That doubles the tally.

Then another friend asked me. So I told her. What are we on now? 9? And there are probably more. So basically, the let’s-not-tell-anyone plan has become the tell-anyone-that-asks plan. And I don’t know if this is okay. It’s not because I want to keep it a secret but because I feel like I can’t now control who finds out we are pregnant and when.

An example. Because of last month’s freakishly long period, ‘work Mum’ knows now when I am next due on (yes, she has calculated). Typically, this clashes with the day we are going out for cocktails. So if I’m not drinking, she’ll know and my actual Mum won’t even know yet! I’d hate for other people to know before my own parents. And if I do drink, I could unknowingly be pregnant which is also not ideal.

Hence why I’m having a mare.

Help please! Any advice?

Katie x

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8 thoughts on “To tell or not to tell?

  1. Telling people is good and bad. Unfortunately it does mean people are going to be looking out to see if you’re not drinking or if you look a bit under the weather. But if some do know and you need the support at least it will be there for you. Id think of a few good lies now to use for when you do get pregnant. Mine were I’m on antibiotics, I’m the designated driver and I’ve got food poisoning. Doesn’t fool everyone though! 😊

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  2. You can run but you can’t hide 😳 lol. It’s sort of impossible to keep a secret. Even when you aren’t trying people are always asking if you are trying as soon as the subject of kids comes up. I have one, and now everyone asked if we are trying for a second! Since we were trying for about seven years I got really good at just saying nope, no plans, not trying just to keep people out of my business. I guess I was really convincing because it was quite a shock when I did finally announce I was pregnant LOL

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  3. I’ve been pregnant twice in a year (my girls are 10.5 months apart) so now whenever I say ‘guess what’ or feel queasy people assume I’m pregnant πŸ™ˆ I told earlyish with my first. 10-12 weeks. Some friends knew sooner though. With our second my MIL knew at six weeks due to complications, rest of the immediate family at 12-14, and didn’t tell extended family/non close friends until third trimester πŸ˜‚ Next time I won’t tell anyone apart from hubby until 20 weeks at least. I like three seconds to enjoy it all. It is bloody tempting to blab though! πŸ˜πŸ’•

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