A year ago, Husband and I decided to come off the pill and start a family. We were happy. We were excited. We were ready.
I didn’t think it would happen straight away but I was hopeful that within a year we would be pregnant. But it just wasn’t meant to be. I’ve had regular periods, late periods and no periods at all. I’ve been diagnosed with polycystic ovaries, I’ve watched friends have babies and celebrated with them and I’ve cried buckets of tears.
This year has tested me in so many ways and I’ve learned a lot about myself:
- I’m a tough cookie. I’m finding this hard but I’m still going and still smiling.
- I haven’t got time for stress. I’ve become a little more brutal with what I tolerate in life. If it is stressing me out or making me feel shit, I don’t want it. Simple.
- I have some epic friends. TTC is often something that people don’t talk about because it can add unwanted pressure. But when I have talked about it, my friends have been pretty awesome. Its amazing how much you value the support of people around you when going through something like this.
- I really really really want to be a Mum. I’m now faced with the fact that I’m not going to become a Mum easily and that is hard to accept. When you’re so ready for something and your control over getting it is taken away, it soon becomes clear just how much it means to you.
- I can’t always get shit done. I’ve always been a ‘go out and get it’ kind of girl. Car, house, job, even Husband! But this time is different. It is out of my hands, and that sucks.
So although I wish I wasn’t experiencing this, it has made me realise things about myself and I can only be grateful for that. I have to look for the positive.